1 00:00:00,987 --> 00:00:02,521 Galavant: Behold, my fellow travelers. 2 00:00:02,522 --> 00:00:05,157 Today, we cross the winding straits 3 00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:09,126 to the rocky river to the shores of Valencia. 4 00:00:09,128 --> 00:00:11,196 No, I wouldn't take the rocky river route. 5 00:00:11,197 --> 00:00:13,131 There are rumors of thieves and bandits. 6 00:00:13,132 --> 00:00:14,833 I don't care about bandits. 7 00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:18,636 I'm Galavant, and Galavant will be deterred by no foe in his... 8 00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:20,638 Who ate all the raisins out of the trail mix? 9 00:00:20,639 --> 00:00:22,774 I hate cashews, and Brazil nuts are gross. 10 00:00:22,775 --> 00:00:24,943 You know what? 11 00:00:24,944 --> 00:00:27,545 Heroes get the raisins. And they choose the path. 12 00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:29,748 That's just the way it goes. 13 00:00:29,749 --> 00:00:33,017 Look, can we just hold it together for a few more days? 14 00:00:33,018 --> 00:00:34,812 We've been doing so well, right? 15 00:00:34,814 --> 00:00:36,821 - Right. - Right. 16 00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:38,623 We eat together 17 00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:40,124 We drink together 18 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:43,094 We work in perfect sync together 19 00:00:43,095 --> 00:00:43,945 We smile 20 00:00:43,947 --> 00:00:45,130 - Frown - Blink 21 00:00:45,131 --> 00:00:48,600 All: Together completely 22 00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:51,970 We walk together, in time together 23 00:00:51,971 --> 00:00:53,171 - Can't help - Yelp 24 00:00:53,172 --> 00:00:54,939 - Kelp - A0ll: But rhyme together 25 00:00:54,940 --> 00:01:00,411 Our voices chime together so neatly 26 00:01:00,412 --> 00:01:03,948 And togetherness is what we do 27 00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:06,784 Together, me and him and you 28 00:01:06,785 --> 00:01:09,187 - Like rock - And scissors 29 00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:11,422 And paper 30 00:01:11,423 --> 00:01:13,257 And stuck together 31 00:01:13,258 --> 00:01:14,592 All day together 32 00:01:14,593 --> 00:01:17,695 We're in each other's way together 33 00:01:17,696 --> 00:01:20,531 Our quirks are on display together 34 00:01:20,532 --> 00:01:23,234 Or nearly 35 00:01:23,235 --> 00:01:26,904 All: But togetherness will see us through 36 00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:29,707 Unless I kill the other two 37 00:01:29,708 --> 00:01:32,844 Both: Or we kill her together 38 00:01:32,845 --> 00:01:35,680 But there's some things we don't share 39 00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:40,017 Like the way I've kind of sort of totally played him 40 00:01:40,018 --> 00:01:44,255 Oh, God, I've betrayed him 41 00:01:44,256 --> 00:01:47,725 And there's some things we don't share 42 00:01:47,726 --> 00:01:53,397 Like I'm kind of sort of always thinking about her 43 00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:57,401 Or like how you both ignore me all of the... 44 00:01:57,402 --> 00:01:59,904 Both: Each day together's a chore together 45 00:01:59,905 --> 00:02:01,972 - A belching - Nagging 46 00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:03,374 - Bore - all: Together 47 00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:06,744 Both: then listening to her snore together 48 00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:08,412 [Snores] 49 00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:11,816 It's like she's a bear. 50 00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:15,319 All: But together, though, is what we'll be 51 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,289 For what feels like eternity 52 00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:19,824 - Together - Me 53 00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:21,392 - And me - And me 54 00:02:21,393 --> 00:02:24,295 All: As one 55 00:02:24,296 --> 00:02:26,931 As one 56 00:02:26,932 --> 00:02:30,334 As one! 57 00:02:30,335 --> 00:02:36,340 Both: As... As o-o-o-one! 58 00:02:36,341 --> 00:02:38,171 - That is so typical. - What's typical? 59 00:02:38,173 --> 00:02:40,109 I thought you said I was gonna have the big finish this time. 60 00:02:40,111 --> 00:02:41,345 It was supposed to be my turn afterwards. 61 00:02:41,346 --> 00:02:43,180 - It's never your turn. - Well, no, that's... 62 00:02:43,181 --> 00:02:44,348 [Horse neighs] 63 00:02:44,349 --> 00:02:45,582 Bandits. 64 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:48,685 - If only someone had warned us. - Yeah, well, you snore. 65 00:02:48,686 --> 00:02:49,750 [Scoffs] 66 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,187 Galavant - 01x04 Comedy Gold 67 00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:53,188 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 68 00:02:56,855 --> 00:03:00,524 I've got something else you can do with your hands. 69 00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:02,359 [Chuckles] 70 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,028 [Indistinct conversations] 71 00:03:04,029 --> 00:03:07,640 I cannot believe My Queen is cheating on me with that joker. 72 00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:09,142 He's a jester, sir. 73 00:03:09,144 --> 00:03:10,801 I know he's a jester, Gareth. 74 00:03:10,802 --> 00:03:12,546 I was insulting him by calling him a joker, 75 00:03:12,548 --> 00:03:14,439 like when you call someone a clown. 76 00:03:14,439 --> 00:03:17,541 - But people like clowns. - Damn it, man! Would you just let me vent?! 77 00:03:19,062 --> 00:03:21,879 I think I know why Madalena likes him more than me. 78 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,848 [Both laugh] He's funny. 79 00:03:23,849 --> 00:03:26,217 How do I compete with that? 80 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:29,854 Well, funny's easy. I mean, I'm funny. 81 00:03:29,855 --> 00:03:30,888 Really? 82 00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:33,391 - Yeah. Knock, knock. - Who's there? 83 00:03:33,392 --> 00:03:34,892 He's a [Bleep] you [Bleep] thing up 84 00:03:34,893 --> 00:03:36,961 [bleep] you in the [Bleep] chair 85 00:03:36,962 --> 00:03:38,629 with the [Bleep] and knees 86 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:42,366 [bleep] is taking it [Bleep] out that son [Bleep] 87 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:43,701 Good Lord, Gareth. 88 00:03:43,702 --> 00:03:45,469 Do you kiss my ring with that mouth? 89 00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:47,371 My mum taught me that one. 90 00:03:47,372 --> 00:03:49,573 Oof. 91 00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:51,375 [Laughs] 92 00:03:51,376 --> 00:03:54,545 Now, if that fool is tickling my wife's funny bone, 93 00:03:54,546 --> 00:03:56,714 it leaves me no choice. 94 00:03:56,715 --> 00:03:59,116 I know what I have to do. 95 00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:07,091 Hello, jester. 96 00:04:07,092 --> 00:04:09,526 Do you think I'm an idiot? 97 00:04:09,527 --> 00:04:15,499 I know precisely what you have been doing with my wife. 98 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,002 Aah! 99 00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:19,169 [Laughs] 100 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:20,671 [Laughing] It's a bendy sword. 101 00:04:20,672 --> 00:04:21,839 Isn't that fantastic? 102 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,774 Oh! 103 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,777 Not even a giggle. 104 00:04:26,778 --> 00:04:30,881 See, this is precisely why I need your help. 105 00:04:30,882 --> 00:04:32,683 Please teach me to be funny. 106 00:04:32,684 --> 00:04:34,318 I'm begging you. 107 00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:35,619 - Gah! - Ohh! 108 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:37,287 - Oh! - Aah! 109 00:04:37,288 --> 00:04:40,390 [Laughs] Even when you know it bends, you still think... whoa! 110 00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:41,525 [Gasps] [Laughs] 111 00:04:41,526 --> 00:04:44,661 Please tell me you hid the jewel. 112 00:04:44,662 --> 00:04:46,130 Of course I hid the jewel... 113 00:04:46,131 --> 00:04:48,098 In a place where no one will ever find it. 114 00:04:48,099 --> 00:04:50,534 Uh, excuse me. Where are you taking us? 115 00:04:50,535 --> 00:04:53,237 The pirate king will decide your fate. 116 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,641 "I don't care what road we choose. 117 00:04:57,642 --> 00:04:58,809 I'm Galavant. 118 00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:00,898 - [Mockingly] I get to eat the raisins." - [Mockingly] "I'm Isabella. 119 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,347 I chew with my mouth open like a cow working on a fresh cud." 120 00:05:03,348 --> 00:05:05,816 I have a deviated septum. I told you that. 121 00:05:05,817 --> 00:05:07,451 I can't breathe through my nose. 122 00:05:07,452 --> 00:05:09,753 If I chew with my mouth closed, I'd get no air. 123 00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:10,888 Do you want me to die? 124 00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:14,224 Well... 125 00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:17,761 Wait. What are pirates doing miles from the ocean? 126 00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:22,566 [Man wolf-whistles] 127 00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:25,402 I'm... so sorry. Am I missing something? 128 00:05:25,403 --> 00:05:26,737 Where's your boat? 129 00:05:26,738 --> 00:05:30,540 I'll be asking the questions around here. 130 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,309 All: Arr! 131 00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:34,277 Actually, go ahead. 132 00:05:34,278 --> 00:05:35,679 I didn't have a question ready. 133 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,182 Um... don't you need a boat to be pirates? 134 00:05:39,183 --> 00:05:40,951 You're on land. 135 00:05:40,952 --> 00:05:43,820 - Land ho! - Carl, stop it. 136 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:47,457 All you need to be a pirate is a dark heart 137 00:05:47,458 --> 00:05:50,227 and a wicked disregard for other people's lives. 138 00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:51,528 And swords. 139 00:05:51,529 --> 00:05:54,531 [Scoffs] Of course swords. That goes without saying. 140 00:05:54,532 --> 00:05:56,500 Everyone knows pirates need swords. 141 00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:58,435 - What about a hook hand? - Parrots? Peg legs. 142 00:05:58,436 --> 00:06:01,738 - Land ho! - I said stop it! 143 00:06:01,739 --> 00:06:05,242 Maybe it'll be easier to explain in a pirate shanty. 144 00:06:05,243 --> 00:06:07,911 - [Groans] - All: Ho 145 00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:10,080 Ho 146 00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:12,215 We're cruel and vicious pirate men 147 00:06:12,216 --> 00:06:14,517 As hard and tough as brass 148 00:06:14,518 --> 00:06:16,519 By far the fearsomest buccaneers 149 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:17,887 To ever walk on grass 150 00:06:17,888 --> 00:06:20,290 - We pillage here - And plunder there 151 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,459 We rage from dusk till dawn 152 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,427 All: we hoist the anchor and swab the deck 153 00:06:24,428 --> 00:06:26,229 Then gather for drinks on the lawn 154 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:28,531 We're the lords of the sea 155 00:06:28,532 --> 00:06:30,333 Except we aren't at sea 156 00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:32,335 We're the lords of the sea 157 00:06:32,336 --> 00:06:34,137 Just not of the actual sea 158 00:06:34,138 --> 00:06:35,939 Arr... 159 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,709 Now, how we ended up here, 'tis a dire and dreadful tale 160 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:43,680 The kind to leave the meanest rogue a-puking o'er the rail 161 00:06:43,681 --> 00:06:45,648 So fateful, so accursed 162 00:06:45,649 --> 00:06:48,051 Such a stroke of evil luck 163 00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:50,019 Both: our ship washed up on that thar hill 164 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,578 And hey, I guess it stuck 165 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:55,925 All: so now we hold the river here by brutal, violent force 166 00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:58,194 We've also taken up gardening 167 00:06:58,195 --> 00:07:00,263 - Sustainably - Of course 168 00:07:00,264 --> 00:07:02,232 All: we make you pay to cross this way 169 00:07:02,233 --> 00:07:04,367 And squeeze you till it hurts 170 00:07:04,368 --> 00:07:06,336 And on the side, we sell a line 171 00:07:06,337 --> 00:07:08,137 Of homemade organic desserts 172 00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:10,440 We're the lords of the sea 173 00:07:10,441 --> 00:07:12,008 Though, technically, next to the sea 174 00:07:12,009 --> 00:07:13,843 We're the lords of the sea 175 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:22,719 Or sort of "of the se-e-a"! 176 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,021 [Growling] 177 00:07:25,022 --> 00:07:29,926 So, now we live here, and we rob any passersby. 178 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,395 - Which brings us back to you. - Please, sir. 179 00:07:32,396 --> 00:07:35,298 We're merely poor travelers with nothing worth taking. 180 00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:39,302 Hey, captain. Look what I found. 181 00:07:39,303 --> 00:07:40,336 [Sighs] 182 00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:42,672 Oh, for the love of g... in your purse? 183 00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:44,974 That's where you thought no one would look for it? 184 00:07:44,975 --> 00:07:46,642 I put it with my girls' supplies. 185 00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:49,479 Guys never look there. They must have sisters. 186 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,813 [Sighs] 187 00:07:50,814 --> 00:07:55,284 Poor travelers, huh? Well, what do we have here? 188 00:07:55,285 --> 00:07:56,452 It's a jewel. 189 00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:58,621 I know it's a jewe... you know what? 190 00:07:58,622 --> 00:08:00,456 You're having a time-out. Go to your tent. 191 00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:03,025 Don't you give me that look. 192 00:08:08,043 --> 00:08:10,878 Right. Comedy lessons. Let's begin. [Bells jingling] 193 00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:13,445 I'm sorry. What is that noise? 194 00:08:13,447 --> 00:08:17,050 It's my bells, sire. I'm terrified. 195 00:08:17,051 --> 00:08:18,195 Don't be. 196 00:08:18,228 --> 00:08:20,374 I already told you I've decided not to kill you. 197 00:08:20,489 --> 00:08:22,123 I mean, not that I don't want to. 198 00:08:22,123 --> 00:08:23,857 In fact, it would be mondo satisfying 199 00:08:23,858 --> 00:08:26,126 to cut your face off and sew it back on inside out. 200 00:08:26,127 --> 00:08:28,061 [Jingling continues] 201 00:08:28,062 --> 00:08:29,929 [Jingling stops] 202 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:32,031 Nah, I'll stick with my first plan. 203 00:08:32,032 --> 00:08:34,367 Teach me to be funny so I can woo my wife. 204 00:08:34,368 --> 00:08:36,269 [Sighs] 205 00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:37,837 Whatever you say, My King. 206 00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:42,308 Comedy is easy once you know the basics 207 00:08:42,309 --> 00:08:44,777 Starting with the concept of surprise 208 00:08:44,778 --> 00:08:45,444 Right. 209 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:47,947 Take what folks think, give it a wink 210 00:08:47,948 --> 00:08:50,283 [Laughs] You try it on now for size 211 00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:51,718 - Me? - Yeah. 212 00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:55,521 [Screams] 213 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,857 He was surprised. 214 00:08:57,858 --> 00:08:58,992 Uh... 215 00:08:58,993 --> 00:09:00,927 - Comedy gold - Really? 216 00:09:00,928 --> 00:09:02,996 I'm telling you, it's comedy gold 217 00:09:02,997 --> 00:09:03,963 Yes. 218 00:09:03,964 --> 00:09:05,064 You're killing it 219 00:09:05,065 --> 00:09:06,633 If that doesn't slay 'em 220 00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:07,900 I'll murder you cold 221 00:09:07,901 --> 00:09:11,004 Swear to God, it's comedy gold 222 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:13,272 Well, our work here is done, so I'll just be going. 223 00:09:13,273 --> 00:09:14,474 Oh, we're just getting started. 224 00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:16,976 - Ah, right. - Lesson two! 225 00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:20,246 Lesson number two is also fundamental 226 00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:23,315 Something that we call "the rule of three" 227 00:09:23,317 --> 00:09:26,486 Set up the joke, give it a stroke 228 00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:27,653 Third time, bam 229 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,122 Yes! Now me! 230 00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:30,323 Three serfs walk into a bar. 231 00:09:30,324 --> 00:09:31,691 The first serf orders a hot grog. 232 00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:33,025 The second serf orders a hot grog. 233 00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:35,428 And the third serf orders a hot grog. 234 00:09:35,429 --> 00:09:38,983 But he has no money and neither do the other two because they're serfs. 235 00:09:38,985 --> 00:09:39,985 Huh? 236 00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:42,435 Comedy gold 237 00:09:42,436 --> 00:09:46,038 - Yes! Nailed it! - I promise you, it's comedy gold 238 00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:47,607 Hilarious 239 00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:50,910 - The crowd will be rolling - Or heads will be rolled 240 00:09:50,911 --> 00:09:52,678 Oh, not with all this comedy gold 241 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:53,507 More, more! 242 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,415 Props can be a riot, ethnic humor, can't deny it 243 00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:59,018 Or a pratfall, if it's properly applied 244 00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:02,888 Depending on the viewer, take it black or work it bluer 245 00:10:02,889 --> 00:10:04,882 Or try an observational aside 246 00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:07,493 Have you ever noticed how lepers 247 00:10:07,494 --> 00:10:09,095 have pieces falling off of them? 248 00:10:09,096 --> 00:10:11,697 I mean, what's that all about? 249 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:15,067 Both: Gonna be killer 250 00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:17,636 Gonna be ace 251 00:10:17,637 --> 00:10:23,976 Folks dying of laughter all over the place 252 00:10:23,977 --> 00:10:26,912 And if I get desperate 253 00:10:26,913 --> 00:10:29,348 A pie in the face? 254 00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:30,816 I dare you. 255 00:10:31,851 --> 00:10:34,920 Telling you, it's comedy gold 256 00:10:34,921 --> 00:10:37,823 Oh! You are a wonderful teacher. 257 00:10:37,824 --> 00:10:41,493 Perhaps now I shall finally be able to satisfy my wife the same way you have. 258 00:10:43,398 --> 00:10:46,498 My God, we've got a strange relationship. 259 00:10:46,499 --> 00:10:48,634 Telling you, it's comedy gold 260 00:10:52,572 --> 00:10:54,540 Pirates, that's pomade. 261 00:10:54,541 --> 00:10:57,776 It's for relaxing my curls, not eating. 262 00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:03,348 - [Sighs] - Right, men. 263 00:11:03,348 --> 00:11:06,417 Let's stow this booty in the chest. 264 00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:08,220 Carl, give me the key. 265 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,359 Oh, come on, guys. Not again. 266 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,328 These idiots really stink at being pirates. 267 00:11:16,329 --> 00:11:17,429 No kidding. 268 00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:18,831 Unbelievable. 269 00:11:18,832 --> 00:11:21,967 It's kind of nice being on the same page, isn't it? 270 00:11:21,968 --> 00:11:23,902 It is nice to have a break 271 00:11:23,903 --> 00:11:25,971 from the relentless stream of criticism, yeah. 272 00:11:25,972 --> 00:11:29,308 Maybe if you did things right, I wouldn't have to say it. 273 00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:30,709 - Mouth breather. - Egomaniac. 274 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,277 And it's over. 275 00:11:32,278 --> 00:11:36,348 You. Walk with me. 276 00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:37,816 [Clears throat] 277 00:11:37,817 --> 00:11:39,284 Oh, right. Of course. 278 00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:51,530 Lads, could you give me a hand? 279 00:11:51,531 --> 00:11:52,631 All: Arr. 280 00:11:56,335 --> 00:12:00,604 You know, we met before, at Lilith Faire, 281 00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:02,841 the island of Lesbos. 282 00:12:02,842 --> 00:12:06,344 I looked a little different... Fewer wrinkles. 283 00:12:06,345 --> 00:12:08,113 More like... 284 00:12:08,114 --> 00:12:09,614 Yes, of course. 285 00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:12,050 Well, you're Peter Pillager, the pirate king. 286 00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:14,753 Well, your men used to be the scourge of the seas. 287 00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:15,888 [Sighs] 288 00:12:15,888 --> 00:12:16,922 What happened there? 289 00:12:16,923 --> 00:12:18,523 Oh. 290 00:12:18,524 --> 00:12:21,393 You know how it is when you spend too much time with people. 291 00:12:21,394 --> 00:12:23,528 Little things start to get to you... 292 00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:25,463 - Oh... - And before you know it, 293 00:12:25,464 --> 00:12:27,432 it's all about who's taken whose booty. 294 00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,201 "It's my booty." "No, it's my booty." 295 00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:30,769 booty, booty, booty. 296 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,305 - You stopped working together. - Big-time. 297 00:12:33,306 --> 00:12:37,008 We can't even agree on how to get our ship off that damn hill. 298 00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:41,313 The truth is... I could do with a man like you. 299 00:12:41,314 --> 00:12:44,583 So I have a proposition. 300 00:12:44,584 --> 00:12:48,320 Either, "A," I kill all of you 301 00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:51,356 and keep that jewel and the girls' supplies. 302 00:12:51,357 --> 00:12:56,294 - Why do you want the girls' supplies? - Or "B," you join me and I let your squire 303 00:12:56,295 --> 00:12:59,264 and that annoying little mouth breather go. 304 00:12:59,265 --> 00:13:01,700 Well, in all fairness to her, 305 00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:04,035 only 'cause she's not here to defend herself, 306 00:13:04,036 --> 00:13:06,271 the mouth breathing is a medical condition, 307 00:13:06,272 --> 00:13:09,507 - so she can't really help it. - Seems like a pretty simple fix to me. 308 00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:11,476 Put food in mouth, close mouth, chew. 309 00:13:11,477 --> 00:13:13,578 What kind of moron can't do that? 310 00:13:13,579 --> 00:13:15,380 [Chuckles] 311 00:13:15,381 --> 00:13:18,183 Again, not to get into semantics here, 312 00:13:18,184 --> 00:13:21,286 but if she closes her mouth while she eats, 313 00:13:21,287 --> 00:13:24,589 she's literally not breathing out of anywhere. 314 00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:25,757 You get used to it. 315 00:13:25,758 --> 00:13:28,860 Honestly, lately, I can't fall asleep until she starts snoring. 316 00:13:28,861 --> 00:13:31,162 Dude, you're making me uncomfortable. 317 00:13:31,163 --> 00:13:33,565 Who are you choosing, me or the mouth breather? 318 00:13:33,566 --> 00:13:37,001 Call her a "mouth breather" one more time. 319 00:13:37,002 --> 00:13:39,237 Mouth breather. 320 00:13:39,238 --> 00:13:41,706 How did you do that? 321 00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:43,641 I keep trying to tell everyone... 322 00:13:43,642 --> 00:13:44,809 Oh. 323 00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:47,345 I'm not just the guy that eats the raisins. 324 00:13:47,346 --> 00:13:48,313 [Gasps] 325 00:13:50,082 --> 00:13:52,050 Chef: Excuse me, excuse me. 326 00:13:52,051 --> 00:13:54,986 Chef coming through. Thank you. This way, my lady. 327 00:13:54,987 --> 00:13:56,788 Here's your table, My Queen. 328 00:13:56,789 --> 00:13:59,757 What fresh idiocy does king Richard have in store for me now? 329 00:13:59,758 --> 00:14:01,392 Um, I'm... 330 00:14:01,393 --> 00:14:03,361 That was rhetorical. Shoo. 331 00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:06,297 Chef out. 332 00:14:06,298 --> 00:14:07,765 [Thudding] 333 00:14:07,766 --> 00:14:09,467 Welcome to the show! 334 00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:12,437 I introduce to you, without further ado, 335 00:14:12,438 --> 00:14:13,905 the king of comedy! 336 00:14:13,906 --> 00:14:17,222 Hello! Thank you very, very, very much. 337 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,177 Now, I understand you've all come here 338 00:14:19,178 --> 00:14:22,113 under threat of death, and I appreciate it. 339 00:14:22,114 --> 00:14:24,649 In fact... I ordered it. 340 00:14:27,419 --> 00:14:29,320 Everybody laugh! 341 00:14:29,321 --> 00:14:30,922 [Laughter] 342 00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:32,581 What on God's flat earth is going on? 343 00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:35,193 Well, they say the way to a woman's heart 344 00:14:35,194 --> 00:14:38,183 - is through her funny bone, so... - Oh, God. Let's not do this. 345 00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:41,132 Why did the king go to the dentist? 346 00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,533 To get his teeth crowned. 347 00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:44,691 To get his teeth crowned. Uh, you've heard that one. 348 00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:47,004 Mm! "You might be a peasant" jokes. 349 00:14:47,005 --> 00:14:51,275 If you have more children than teeth, 350 00:14:51,276 --> 00:14:53,911 you might be a peasant. 351 00:14:56,615 --> 00:14:58,783 Is this thing on? [Pops] 352 00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:02,219 Ugh. He's dying out there. Give him the pie. 353 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,721 Now?! 354 00:15:03,722 --> 00:15:05,523 That's the big finale. 355 00:15:05,524 --> 00:15:07,692 Damn it, man, look at the poor bastard. 356 00:15:07,693 --> 00:15:09,160 Give him the pie. 357 00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:15,488 If your toilet is a tree, then you might be... 358 00:15:19,037 --> 00:15:21,105 [Laughter] 359 00:15:22,207 --> 00:15:25,342 She laughed! It worked! She laughed! 360 00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:28,846 Quick, give me more pies so I can keep hitting Gareth in the face. 361 00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:32,277 Or someone else. I-I can pie someone else. 362 00:15:34,448 --> 00:15:35,448 You're a fool. 363 00:15:35,449 --> 00:15:37,116 When my men see me captive, 364 00:15:37,117 --> 00:15:39,618 they will swarm on you like hornets. 365 00:15:39,619 --> 00:15:40,953 No. Bees. 366 00:15:40,954 --> 00:15:42,121 No, hornets was better. 367 00:15:42,122 --> 00:15:43,622 Well, you can let them try, 368 00:15:43,623 --> 00:15:46,386 but I'll be damned if I'm letting my team end up like yours. 369 00:15:46,388 --> 00:15:49,628 So I'm gonna rescue them, rouse us to work together, 370 00:15:49,629 --> 00:15:51,831 defeat your... hold on. 371 00:15:52,933 --> 00:15:55,501 Oh, for the love of Mike, what happened? 372 00:15:55,502 --> 00:15:56,835 [Sighs] Sid was right. 373 00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:59,171 It was time to stop bickering and work together. 374 00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:00,673 So we did, and we overthrew the camp. 375 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:04,410 You missed an amazing battle, better than anything at castle black. 376 00:16:04,411 --> 00:16:07,179 Well, FYI, I was also gonna come back, 377 00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,448 and I was gonna suggest that we start working together, too, 378 00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:10,849 - wasn't I? Tell them. - Oh, please, stop. 379 00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:12,484 This whole time, I've been saying that I was gonna... 380 00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:16,455 - This is all a little humiliating. - You know what? Doesn't matter. 381 00:16:16,456 --> 00:16:18,023 I know we've been driving each other crazy, 382 00:16:18,024 --> 00:16:20,092 but I think we've got something really good going on here. 383 00:16:20,093 --> 00:16:23,195 I mean, look at us... We're gorgeous, very diverse. 384 00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:27,665 I think if we pull it together, we could do something great, legendary even. 385 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:30,335 What do you say? 386 00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:31,703 We are diverse. 387 00:16:32,939 --> 00:16:35,174 Super diverse. 388 00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:37,843 I remember when we had something special. 389 00:16:37,844 --> 00:16:39,611 All: Arr. 390 00:16:39,612 --> 00:16:40,972 I miss us. 391 00:16:41,948 --> 00:16:44,616 Now, look, either we can take your pirate supplies... 392 00:16:44,617 --> 00:16:46,385 The swords, the hooks... 393 00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:47,386 - Parrots. - Booty. 394 00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:48,854 - Peg legs. - Girls' supplies. 395 00:16:48,855 --> 00:16:51,356 Yes, yes, all of it, or we can work together 396 00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:56,028 to get your ship off that hill and you can take us to Valencia. 397 00:16:56,029 --> 00:16:57,062 What do you say? 398 00:17:04,037 --> 00:17:06,338 Did I just cut your hand? 399 00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:08,707 Yes. Very badly. 400 00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:10,509 Sorry. 401 00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:17,749 Where are you going? 402 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,584 It's time for 4:00 fool-around. 403 00:17:19,585 --> 00:17:20,660 Is it? 404 00:17:20,662 --> 00:17:23,922 M-my sundial must be slow because of the... c-clouds. 405 00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:26,591 If you're worried I'm upset about you helping my husband 406 00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:28,827 with that ridiculous show, then don't be. 407 00:17:28,828 --> 00:17:31,997 Who cares? He's an idiot. 408 00:17:31,998 --> 00:17:33,598 Yes, well, that's the thing. 409 00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:35,233 I don't think I can do this anymore. 410 00:17:35,234 --> 00:17:39,938 I guess I just feel a little... guilty. 411 00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:41,606 Well, that's very noble of you 412 00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,875 to care about someone's feelings. 413 00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:45,839 Guards! 414 00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:48,511 If you're developing a conscience, then you're no good to me. 415 00:17:48,513 --> 00:17:50,949 Take him to the dungeon, the really scary one. 416 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:52,117 With the mice. 417 00:17:52,118 --> 00:17:53,284 Wait, no! Please! 418 00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:54,953 At least let me change my clothes! 419 00:17:54,954 --> 00:17:57,455 These are gang colors! 420 00:17:57,456 --> 00:17:59,958 Oh, hello. 421 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,226 I was just coming to see Steve. 422 00:18:01,227 --> 00:18:02,727 Who's Steve? 423 00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:05,363 Steve McKinzie. The jester. 424 00:18:05,364 --> 00:18:07,932 You don't know his name? 425 00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:09,567 Well, no matter. 426 00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:13,738 Say, what do you call a tiny mosquito in a tin suit? 427 00:18:13,739 --> 00:18:15,573 - Oh, God. - Nope. 428 00:18:15,574 --> 00:18:17,575 A gnat in shining armor. 429 00:18:17,576 --> 00:18:20,645 - [Chuckles] I've got so many of these. - Please stop talking. 430 00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:22,247 [Laughing] No, I love talking with you. 431 00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:24,582 Right, you maggots! 432 00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:27,485 Let's get this boat off the hill. 433 00:18:27,486 --> 00:18:29,787 What? 434 00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:32,790 It's just nice to hear you call us "maggots" again. 435 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:35,627 You've always been maggots in here. 436 00:18:35,628 --> 00:18:37,595 All: Arr! 437 00:18:37,596 --> 00:18:39,497 Prepare the lines! 438 00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:48,239 All: we heave together, we ho together 439 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,308 All working toe to toe together 440 00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:52,076 Ahoy, look out below together! 441 00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:53,945 Run away! Run away! 442 00:18:56,348 --> 00:18:58,683 Now off together, we'll cruise together 443 00:18:58,684 --> 00:19:01,018 With pirate stuff we'll use together 444 00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,254 Guys, we should get tattoos together 445 00:19:03,255 --> 00:19:04,422 Arr! 446 00:19:06,492 --> 00:19:09,660 And, together, look what we can do 447 00:19:09,661 --> 00:19:11,929 Together we're one scurvy crew 448 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,863 - Together, we're not bad - It's true 449 00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:16,134 My God, just get a room, you two. 450 00:19:16,135 --> 00:19:22,974 All: Togetherness will see us through to the end 451 00:19:22,975 --> 00:19:25,543 Land ho! 452 00:19:25,544 --> 00:19:27,044 "Land ho," indeed, Carl. 453 00:19:30,115 --> 00:19:32,283 [Sighs] 454 00:19:32,284 --> 00:19:33,618 Gal... 455 00:19:33,619 --> 00:19:34,952 Can I call you "Gal"? 456 00:19:34,953 --> 00:19:36,487 Uh, well, I don't love it. 457 00:19:36,488 --> 00:19:39,323 [Sighs] I have to talk to you. 458 00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:40,858 I feel a little guilty about something. 459 00:19:40,859 --> 00:19:43,127 Actually, so do I. 460 00:19:43,128 --> 00:19:45,496 I stashed a bag of trail mix before we left. 461 00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:47,999 Raisins intact. 462 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,400 [Chuckles] Really? 463 00:19:49,401 --> 00:19:50,568 Knock yourself out. 464 00:19:50,569 --> 00:19:52,636 And feel free to eat with your mouth open. 465 00:19:52,637 --> 00:19:54,305 It's not as gross as I make it out to be. 466 00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:58,008 I mean, it's gross, but it's not gross-gross. 467 00:19:59,644 --> 00:20:02,680 Listen, Galavant, 468 00:20:02,681 --> 00:20:05,349 I think the reason I've been so difficult recently 469 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:09,019 is that I was villainizing you so I felt better about myself. 470 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:13,190 I'm probably signing my parents' death warrant by telling you this, but... 471 00:20:13,191 --> 00:20:14,525 I lied. 472 00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:17,061 I'm leading you into a trap. 473 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:20,931 Galavant? 474 00:20:20,932 --> 00:20:22,666 We're almost there. 475 00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:25,169 Did you hear anything I just said? 476 00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:27,171 Sorry. 477 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,519 I don't always listen when you talk. 478 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,371 I will get better at that. 479 00:20:31,373 --> 00:20:32,847 What were you saying, something about 480 00:20:32,848 --> 00:20:34,848 your parents or something? 481 00:20:36,097 --> 00:20:38,091 I'm looking forward to seeing them. 482 00:20:38,092 --> 00:20:41,292 Right. Yeah, parents are the best. 483 00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:44,878 Godspeed, pirates! 484 00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:46,472 To Valencia! 485 00:20:46,473 --> 00:20:48,473 All: Arr! 486 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,449 I'm coming, my love. 487 00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:58,652 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 488 00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:03,252 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0